Burial Irony
by PeechTao
Summary: QuiGon arrives at the Temple only to be greeted by his own Funeral. What twisted events have happened since his dissappearence? And Why is Mace so angry to see him alive? Absolutely Hilarious! a mustread!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey, short little drabble I wrote. Hope you like it all!  
Disclaimer: own nothing but the premise

**Burial Irony**

He stumbled out of the star ship, dazed and confused. He rolled down the exit ramp, patting his robe to extinguish the flames engulfing his cloak. The ship was a wreck to say the very least. The wing melted entirely on entry, three of four engines were smoked and smoldering, the cabin itself was engulfed in flames. Yet in it all, he was alive. Charred, but alive.

However, his confusion resulted from a different matter. He was utterly alone. Upon calling the Temple, he received no answer. On crashing landing in te dock, he received no welcome aid.

Had every Jedi suddenly and mysteriously vanished?

Perhaps the Temple was under siege of some sort. Picking himself up, he stalked slowly and quietly through the Temple halls. As he suspected the rooms were vacant. No stray echoes were heard. No silent conspiring whispers. Master Qui-Gon Jinn was more mystified then fearful. He was gone a mere three weeks. The Jedi could not have disappeared in that time. He at once set in his mind to go to his padawan's quarters. At least he would not disappear without having left a note.

Upon entering the room he noted at once that the room was in perfect order, or disorder as it seemed. As usual, Obi-Wan's polished to perfection attitude did not happen to transfer to his room upkeep. Clothing, training armor, ship parts, whirling gadgets, and old textbooks littered everything from the floor to the bed. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, but a certain feeling was. A deep, intricate web of sadness, bordering on the point of rage hung like a thick veil in the Force.

Qui-Gon checked the wall chrono and, just as he thought, he was only gone three weeks. Perhaps an ill word reached the Temple about his kidnaping, before Qui-Gon radioed that he was well. Did his message even reach Obi-Wan? The Master did try and make his own comm unit out of some metal parts and a dryer knob. But Obi-Wan could not possibly think the worst could he?

Qui-Gon left the room to find the Council. He took the turbo lift up to the highest reaches of the Temple spires. The doors of the lift opened to find no one at the admittance post.

"Are the Jedi now nothing but invisible ghosts?" he wondered aloud. He opened the Council room door to find a sight he was wholly prepared for. No one.

Qui-Gon stepped up to the long windows and peered out at the city below. At least that showed signs of life, though nothing else did. As he stood, brooding over his next move, a strange smoke went wisping by the windows. He looked down to find its source, trying to assure himself that he had put the fire out in his cockpit, and not let it set the cargo bay aflame. Instead, he found the origin of the missing Jedi. They, or at least most of them, were far below in the Temple's outdoor courtyard. Some large fire was burning in their midst.

Basked in uncertainty, he made his way down the corridors to the large assembly. Seeing the group likewise, Master Jinn drew up his hood over his face. With the tense, over-whelming grief he sensed in the midst, Qui-Gon knew at once some great person had passed into the next life. His only question was who. To warrant such an amazing turnout, the person must have been quite important. His thoughts dwelled on the fading age of the Council itself. To answer his question he headed forward to the pyre. Strangely enough the closer he went, the more he noticed his friend's and acquaintances standing nearest to the flames. With a sudden fear he wondered if perhaps a dear friend of his own was the victim.

On reaching the pyre at last, he found that no body was placed on top, instead flowers, spices, and possessions of the deceased burned.

**_The body must have been lost in a battle of some kind,_** he thought inwardly. Placing a gently hand on the person beside him, he inquired, "What may I ask, poor Jedi has fallen?"

The man took a moment to compose himself. "Only the greatest among Jedi. Most valiant and amazing. Master . . ." he broke off, unable to continue through his sobs.

Qui-Gon thanked him and moved on toward the Council. Surely Yoda would give him answers. As he was approaching, Master Windu stood to give a few words to the masses.

"The man we honor was both friend and ally to an innumerable many. We honor him in death as one of the greatest Jedi to ever live."

Qui-Gon kneeled beside Yoda. "Master?"

Yoda turned to see who had called him and starring into the face of Qui-Gon, found himself dumbstruck.

"I have come to inquire who has passed."

"Why . . ." he stuttered, "You Master Jinn. Word we were sent. Thought long dead you were!"

Qui-Gon stood. "This is MY funeral!" he exclaimed so loudly Mace turned to find who had interrupted his carefully chosen words.

"Qui-Gon!" He said in surprise, stumbling back.

Another thought struck the apparently undead Jedi. "Those are my things your BURNING!"

Now the multitude began to whisper, then speak freely. In a loving wave, all those who had believed the rumor fell upon him with relieved thanks.

Qui-Gon found himself engulfed in a sea of endless acquaintances he had yet to see in weeks, months, and even years. Finding himself some free air, he quickly stole away, blending in with the surrounding crowed. He quickly grabbed the hand of Obi-Wan and the two were away.

:-:-:

Hey, one more wrap it up chapter. K? its funny, trust me.  
please remember to review!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, thanks for the awsome feedback!

Chapter 2

"Pass that bottle, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon commanded, drowning the remnants of his glass. "I dare say it is the only thing left in my room here."

Obi-Wan gave it over.

"You can't blame him, Qui-Gon." Tahl spoke up, taking the drink from him to poor her own. "You were missing how long? You had me convinced."

"I was enslaved!" he repeated. "Then shot down! It's a miracle I'm not lying dead somewhere!"

"If you had been, I fancy we'd be avoiding this whole conversation." Qui-Gon's oldest friend, Sacul, replied.

The group was sitting in Qui-Gon's completely barren apartment, gracing the floor with their circle of amusement, going over details I their minds, and generally enjoying the company of one another. Their voices echoed off the hollow room, bring to the forefront of their memories that the room was still utterly empty.

Jinn starred at him. "I am so sorry to disappoint you. But would you not save anything I owned?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "I have a few boxes in my room."

"See, you are not homeless." Tahl said, patting his arm. "It was funny, the look on Mace's face I mean."

Sacul laughed.

Siri reached for the passing bottle, but Tahl slapped her hand away. "Come on now. You have more sense then that."

Siri huffed.

Garen laughed and pushed a glass of soda her way. "Well we were here for you, Obi-Wan. Even though your Master did not die."

"Much appreciated." Obi-Wan replied with a friendly smile and a smack on the shoulder.

Qui-Gon continued to shake his head despite the lighter notes. "I just don't get it. Who said I was dead? I mean, who did the big announcement?"

"Mater Windu. You'd have to ask Knight Sacul the odd expression of almost happiness he displayed upon shouting it from the Temple spire. After interrupting Mace's lovely speech . . .I doubt he wants to talk of that time to you." His apprentice told him.

Qui-Gon sighed. "At least let's go fish my bed out of the trash receptacles."

Obi-Wan pressed his lips together not wanting to be the one to bear the final straw of bad news.

Instead, it was Sacul who said it. "My poor, dear, undead, friend whom I have had yet to see for near on to four years. The trash was taken out already. The bed is in the dump."

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the end! how did you like it? Review please! 


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